To The Mama Who Doesn’t Even Know Who She Is Anymore

December 20, 2018With Love, From Sza

Remember what happened this morning?

I know you screamed in front of your son because he was too irritating, but then you felt guilty for doing so. I know you hid under the blanket just so you can have a few seconds of silence. I know you cried because you were bone tired and you feel like you can’t do it anymore. I know that you think things have to be done but you don’t have the strength for it.

I know that you think you’re not enough.

I know you were trying to stop the tears fall from your eyes because you don’t want your son to see you’re hurting and tired. I know how you fight for your family, no matter how hard you wanted to let go. I know it hurts and that all you wanted is support, and probably happiness. Happiness that you seek as you have experienced it long ago but your life has made a full turn and you don’t even know who you are. You don’t like the person you’re becoming but you have no idea what to do because you feel like you’re alone and your little family depends on you. You wanted to be strong but sometimes you also need to charge that energy and fill yourself so you can pour on to others.

That’s okay, mama.

Cry in front of your kids. So they will know that even superheroes cry.

Let them know you’re tired so they will know that the strongest person in the world needs to fill his cup too.

I know it feels like forever and that the sadness seems to be unending, but sleep, take a rest, you’ll see, tomorrow brings you closer to another year.

Tomorrow, your child will grow an inch taller.

Tomorrow, your child will learn another word.

Tomorrow, your child will be a little older.

Because tomorrow, you’ll see, they’ve grown.

Tomorrow, you’ll be proud of what you’ve become.

Tomorrow, it will be worth it.

Because you may not be perfect, but who is? You may be vulnerable, we all are. But weak? No!

You’re the best mom your kids could ever ask for. You’re their strong tower. You’re the one they lean upon. And once they’re grown. They will give you all the love and strength that you could ever ask for. They will be fine human beings and they will show the world that you are a great mother.

Even when you don’t even know who you are anymore.

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