When I was younger and working, I always start my day going to work so motivated, so excited knowing that I will seize the day. I show up 30 minutes before my shift, set everything up, be friends with people around me, and my brain’s so sharp that I always excel in almost everything I do (except, math of course).
However, these days, when I became a mom, and I have more responsibilities than I can ever imagine, going to work has been one of the hardest task I need to overcome in the day. Not sure if maybe because I consider it a task and I am not motivated enough to go to work, or my depression is taking over me that I always get sick and my brain is draining the energy out of my physical body.
For the past month, I’ve been sick twice for two different reasons. My acid level spiked up that my Urinary Tract Infection attacked me, and 2 weeks later my Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease – in short, GERD, commonly known as Acid Reflux and Heartburn attached again.
I stopped storing up my meds for my GERD because it’s been a very long time since I had my last attack. As I can remember, it was during college when I had it – never came back. But lately, I’m feeling it again. The stress overpowering me, and my sickness are coming back one by one.
I’ve been wondering why. Then, I realized.
Stress. My job pays well, higher than any other jobs I’ve ever been but because it’s a financial firm, the stress level is too high because there’s no room for mistake.
After being at the office for 9 hours (including lunch), I go home and my work is not done. I cook for my family, making sure they’re well fed with healthy foods. Then I play with my son and bond with him because I wanna make sure our bond is still there even when I’m not 💯 % present.
Stress is more dangerous than we think. It’s not just fatigue. It destroys us – mentally, physically, emotionally, socially.
When stressed, our bodies give up and diseases shows up. We feel more tired than usual. We feel like we can barely get up. Now that’s fatigue as a result of stress.
Our relationships are affected as well. When I’m stressed, I noticed that I lash out more and I scream and get mad easily. I don’t care if it’s my son or my Tee, I just get mad. Because I’m tired and stressed.
My mental health is affected too because my depression and anxiety has worsen when I had a lot of stressors. My brain just doesn’t stop worrying and working and overthinking and literally destroying me.
And I hate it.
For the first time in my life, I had actual counseling at work due to my attendance. I’ve been absent twice this month due to being sick and I hate it when I do something wrong, worse, attendance. I always believed that it’s behavioral and I don’t want to be the one who pulls my team’s absenteeism rate down because of being sick. I know I can’t control it but I just don’t like being the one having issues.
Well.. it’s uncontrollable and hopefully I’ll be better at it. I hope I’ll be better at managing stress. I know I do meal plan, and grocery planning, budgeting and to do lists, almost everything’s organized but still if I have a lot of stressors in my life, I still can’t perform my tasks as a mom and as a banker at my best.
I’d love to hear from other working moms how you handle stress and still blend with everything in life.
I wanna hear in the comments down below and then, maybe, just maybe we’ll be friends.