I’m Leaving My Son

January 14, 2019With Love, From Sza

Today, I’m hopping off on a plane alone. I’m anxious and stressed.

I’ve always had my son with me all the time. The moment I wake up, to going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, grocery shopping, and walking down the block.

This is the first time in forever that I’d be leaving him with his father.

And for some personal reasons.

I’m kidding! Lol!

It’s my sister’s pinning and I have to fly to Davao because apparently, you know, my parents are in Seoul and I don’t have much of a choice. So, when I got the plane ticket, the budget was tight and it would cost me almost 10,000 pesos for a round-trip ticket for two – because who would’ve thought that this little guy, who barely sits on a plane pays a full price? I really thought it was half for this kid. *rolls eyes*

So, there, I have to fly alone. At first, I was excited having this me time. I always thought I deserved it. For three years of being with this kid (I’m counting the pregnancy period lol), I always thought, “Yay! Finally! Out-of-town alone!”

But it’s hours away from flying and I feel like I dont want to go. I’m not excited. I’m actually feeling otherwise. I’m gonna miss this little munchkin.

“What if he cries at night? What if he looks for me? What if T can’t handle him?”

Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety.

I know I have to…

  • Trust T to take care of our son while I’m away,
  • and think of this as an opportunity to finally give time to myself,
  • a time for Dreu to practice interacting with other people.

Tbh, his social skills are sooooooooooo much similar as her mother – he lacks it. He runs away seeing strangers. So me! Haha!

I talk a lot about self-care in social media, how to go out and take time for yourself, but honestly, I really can’t imagine a day without my boy.

So, here’s to hoping we could survive this. I’ll update you with deets soon.

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