How to Encourage Your Child’s Good Behavior

January 29, 2019With Love, From Sza
How to Encourage your Child's Good Behavior | With Love from Sza

What’s good behavior? I mean, how do we define it? Different parents got different explanations and we have different approaches depending on our child. But I think one thing is for certain, we all wanted our child’s good behavior.

We all wanted to raise a respectful, courteous, polite and marvelous human being. But sometimes, they show us otherwise. They often act like they’ll be throwing tantrums forever. And then, we feel bad on our kids or worse, get mad at them if they are unreasonable and hard-headed, and shouting and yelling.

Then, we blame it on our parents, on ourselves, on our husband’s blood, even on our neighbor. Lol! But seriously NO, sometimes, it all comes down to encouraging and helping your child have good behavior.

I believe as parents, tough as it may seem but it is our job to encourage and help them be their best behavior.

How do we do it?

Listen

The #1 key to encouraging your child’s good behavior is through listening to them. We often forget this. They’re kids. They scream and kick when they don’t get what they wanted.

Do not yell.

I repeat, Do not yell.

This is our first response when they do something we don’t want.

Instead, ask them what they want and thoroughly listen to them. Actively and attentively. I know, this is soooo confusing at times because we don’t really understand what they want. Most especially when they’re too young to communicate. However, as a parent, I bet you know what your kid wants. If it’s doable, try to offer and give it to your child resort to screaming.

LEND AND EAR AND TRY TO OFFER AN ALTERNATIVE

If it’s something not allowed, try to offer alternatives everytime you say “No!” You can try saying, “Baby, you’re not allowed to write on Daddy’s papers. How about we get you a different paper instead then we can write and color there. Okay?”

Sounds a lot better right?

Praise them when they do good

It’s never a good idea to bribe them when they do good so don’t retreat to that, that’s not what I mean. What I mean is praise them.

Appreciate them.

The best thing to do here is to catch them do something good, and tell them something specific like “You’re really good for finishing your food” or “You’re a very good sister for not throwing toys to your brother.” This directs on the good thing they’ve done rather than the process of doing it. It may take him a while to finish his food but since you praised him for it, he may do it faster the next time around.

Not only praising them will bring joy, but it also motivates them and teaches them that what they’re doing is right.

As a reward, you can offer extra activities for your child’s good behavior like:

  • Extra reading time
  • Pool time
  • Extra 5 minutes in the bath
  • Going out at the park
  • Pillow fight
  • Pillow jumping
  • Extra coloring sheets

These are amazing as they are not material things like chocolates or foods, or toys, hence, they focus on bonding and fun.

Provide a home that encourages good behavior

The environment around your child matters a lot. Shaping your environment helps your child’s behavior.

Make sure you childproof your home. They walk up the stairs, go up the table, it may be because it’s something they can do. The best thing to do is to keep harmful things away, keep stairs closed, remove chairs so they can’t climb up the table. Fewer accidents, lesser yelling. When you have a home that encourages good behavior, they will more likely, just sit down and watch or read. They won’t do something dangerous or silly because you’ve provided them a home that encourages good behavior and it also reduces the chance of them breaking things so you can create a good relationship.

Also, when your home doesn’t encourage good behavior, your child will more likely feel guilty every time he does something wrong. They’re kids, they’re free-spirited. We have to adjust and make these changes to help them.

In addition to childproofing your home, another thing that would make your home an encouragement for good behavior is if you adjust according to your child’s schedule.

Examples are:

  • Do your work on their nap time so you won’t be disturbed
  • wake up before they do, so food and milk are prepared to result in a much better morning.
  • Take a bath while they’re asleep so you don’t have to shout when they try to go inside the shower

set a good example

They always say, “The rules we set for our kids are nothing compared to the examples we set out for them.”

How would you encourage your child’s good behavior if they see the opposite in you?

A friend of mine complained that her daughter rolled her eyes and shut the door. “I never taught her how to do that,” she said.

But I told her, “maybe she saw you do it?”

Then she stopped. Yep. There it is. She thought it’s okay to do that because mom did it too.

If you don’t want your child whining, nagging, yelling, cursing, throwing things aggressively, then make sure you’re setting a good example by not doing those.

You may also try talking in a calm manner, and never forget to say “Please, Thank You, and Sorry!”

These little things make a difference.


Conclusion

These things are too good to be true but maybe if we do it little by little, we’ll be able to make it happen. I’m not saying I’m doing all these things perfectly, I’m a work in progress, we all are.

I yell, I get mad, I forget the good things my son did. But I’m trying every single day to remind myself that I have to encourage my child’s good behavior if I wanted to have a responsible, good and kind human being.

Have you started encouraging your child’s good behavior? Will this be useful to you? I wanna hear in the comments below.

Comments (2)

  • Avatar

    Mary Leigh

    January 30, 2019 at 10:02 am

    These are all such great tips! Praising good behavior and being quick to listen are so important!

    1. With Love, From Sza

      With Love, From Sza

      January 30, 2019 at 9:14 pm

      Thank you! They are. <3 As much as possible we really want to encourage their good behavior.

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