5 Reasons Why Asking Help Doesn’t Make You a Bad Mother
Hard is an understatement we use to describe motherhood. It’s a phase in our lives where we take care of another human being/s and sometimes, or most of the time, forget about who we really are.
Motherhood is trying to put your toddler to sleep at midnight because he took a long nap in the afternoon, woke up at 6 PM and is wide awake now. It’s bringing them water before they go to bed but making sure it’s the right cap and blue lid and green straw.
Motherhood is wishing we have more time for ourselves but when given the time, all we wanted to do is take care of our kids. It is a phase where we are judged anywhere we go.
It’s physically, socially, mentally and emotionally exhausting.
And we always think we can manage everything from bath to dishes to laundry. But in reality, we cant.
We needed help.
The good news I’m about to tell you is we can ask help and it doesn’t make us bad mothers. It makes us a great and wise human.
Here are why.
You can’t do everything alone.
Remember the time when the sink overflowed with dishes and your toddler pulls you out because he hated the video playing on the TV, and when you asked him to wait he threw all his toys on the floor?
There’s just a lot of things we have to do and we all wished we had extra hands. Personally, the more I multi-task, the more I get disorganized. It stresses me trying to do everything at once. Or I think I just get overwhelmed so much.
And once stressed, guess what happens next? I scream and yell at my child. Which he doesn’t really deserve, and then I curl up at night, crying and giving up because I just can’t do it all.
Your kids should learn how to trust others.
Not every day of our lives will we be there for them. There will be days that they might be sinking, needing a hand, but we’re not gonna be there.
Asking help encourages your child to build new connections and new relationships.
It’s telling them that it’s okay to ask for help even when Mommy’s not around. They will trust their dad or grandparents, aunt or babysitter in times of need.
Sometimes, you just have no idea what you’re doing.
To be honest, almost every single day of my motherhood life, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never been here before, I never handled a newborn before, I never took care of a toddler, I haven’t dealt with a teething, crying child.
Thus, it helps to ask for an extra hand. Instead of risking my child’s life/health, I’d rather take help. My parents are away but thanks to technology, I can call my mom in a sec, and if she can’t tell me what to do, the pediatrician is my next go-to.
You are paying them so ask all the questions you wanted to ask. I sometimes write them down so I can fire it to the doc when we’re there.
Ask someone you trust, someone who have kids or took care of kids and maybe they can help.
We’re all sensitive human beings. When you’re too exhausted that you can no longer function, who will take care of your child then?
Kids are naturally demanding so take care of yourself if you can.
This has been a struggle for me as I wanted to make sure of everything and do things on my own. But the moment I asked for help, it helped me function more. I felt great.
I can now ask for a 2-hour mani-pedi and not worry about my son.
I can also ask for an extra hour of sleep because I got help.
There isn’t anyone who didn’t ask for help
I bet everyone in the world asked help for once in their lives so don’t hesitate. It’ll help you a lot.
Do not be afraid to ask for help. Whatever assistance you needed, whoever you can get it from. Either hiring a nanny, getting a house-help, asking your mom or mom-in-law to come over because the baby is teething and you haven’t slept in days, be honest.
They won’t laugh at you. They will help you.
If they’ve been through motherhood they must know how often we ask help and it’s a privilege to help. Some others badly wanted to help, they’re just waiting for you to ask them.
Your baby needs you more than ever. He needs the better you.
Not the overwhelmed, burned out you.
And asking help doesn’t make you a bad mother.
It makes you a better one.